Plants vs. Zombies 2: It's About Time (Android) review

About time indeed!

Released: June-October 2013 (App Store/Google Play)

“It’s About Time” is what I would describe my year long wait to play this game. Ever since I picked up the original on the PS3, I grew to the game’s ridiculous concept. Despite a couple of issues (difficulty spikes and local multiplayer), I found the game to be quite good.

So, when the sequel was announced back in 2013, you can imagine how completely PISSED I was when I found out it was only going to be only on mobile and tablet devices. At the time, I had a crappy phone, so while everyone else got a chance to spread their green thumbs in the West, Egypt, and even into the future, I was left tending to things in the present. Now a year has passed since the game originally came out and I’ve finally gotten a chance to play it. But the question remains: is it just as good (or even better) than the original?

PvZ2 is developed by PopCap (Bejeweled, Peggle) and published by Electronic Arts. The game follows the same concept as the original title; however now, the twist is that you have to defend your territory while traveling into various time periods from the past to the future. The reason this happens is that Crazy Dave (from the previous game) eats a taco he made at the start of the game. He finds it incredibly delicious and decides he wants to travel back in time in his RV (named Penny) to eat the very same taco again. Unfortunately, something goes wrong and you are sent far back into time. And to make matters worse, the zombies, led by Dr. Zomboss (the final boss also from the previous game) have ALSO traveled back in time, and are coming for you and your brains once again. It’s all incredibly ridiculous, but the plot only serves to set up the main gimmick for this game.

The gameplay is much like the original: you choose from a selection of genetically mutated plants of war (if you want to put it that way) to plant on your lawn in order to defend your house against hordes of flesh-eating zombies. At the time of this review, there are six different time periods to explore, each with approximately 20-25 levels (except Big Wave Beach, which has 32 levels) including several objective-based levels and a boss battle. Each period also contains their own gimmicks (e.g. moveable minecarts in the Wild West) as well as their own zombie types to continuously keep you on your toes, making you alter up strategies and plant choices to keep yourself well defended.  There are also new plants you unlock as you progress through each period, adding more to that selection, which some can even prove pretty useful later on. One personal favorite of mine is the magnifying grass- a plant that can fire a powerful (potentially one hit kill) shot of light, but only if you have the sun to back it up.

This guy looks somewhat familiar, but I can't seem to put a name on him.

The game also introduces four new power ups, which can be used as a last resort when things get too rough, since the game does suffer from difficulty spikes like the original. Out of all of them, the plant food is the most helpful. You get these from any zombies who are look a bit greener under the collar, and will enable that plant’s boosted ability (attack or support) which last for about a few seconds. These boosts are also where the Zen Garden makes a return. You collect seeds from zombies in levels, and can plant them at the garden to grow a boosted version of that plant that instantly activates its special ability once planted on the ground. It takes plenty of time for them to grow, but in the end, it’s really helpful to use that boosted plant on a tiresome level.

...I have no way to simply explain this unless I bring up untrustworthy barrels and fried chicken.

The other three abilities all stretch from either being really helpful or crossing your finger, hoping for the best. The best is the Power Toss, which can send zombies flying off the screen just by sliding your finger across the touch screen. The others- Power Zap and Power Snow, both using you to slide your finger all over the screen to freeze/zap zombies to either slow them down, or turn them into BBQ.  These two are more of a roll of the dice, mostly depending on what kind of zombies are coming your way.

However, with those also brings around the biggest issue in the entire game. The way to use these abilities costs a certain amount of coins per use, from 1000 to 1400. How do you get these coins? You either:

1.      Kill zombies until a coin comes out of one of them.

2.      Any lawnmowers still left at the end of a level.

3.      Winning a daily piñata party challenge.

4.      Killing an Abominable Yeti zombie when it shows up in random levels.

5.      Watch ads continuously for 250 coins each until it doesn’t allow you to do so.

6.      Farming plants at the Zen Garden.

With those, it will take some serious farming and time just to gather enough coins to use maybe one or two power ups. Or, you can just skip all of that and buy the coins via microtransactions, which go from $2.99 to as far as $99.99(!).What if you refuse to buy any? Then either you go back and bust your ass playing earlier levels, use your boosted plants from your garden, or any of the previous farming techniques. Otherwise, the game’s difficulty spikes will become even more troublesome for you, and make it even harder to finish a tough level.

However, this system doesn’t just go for power ups. Even some plants (which can be tried out in some levels) are only unlocked via purchase, including some plants from the original. Overall, this whole system really hurts the game. The game is available to play for free, but it still seems to demand a bit of cash in order to fully enjoy the game. Honestly, if they wanted to get some money out of this game, they should’ve just made the game $3 or $4 in the app store, and cut some of those poisonous practices out. There is another currency, gems, you can also get by either killing zombies or buy from microtransactions, but those feel more optional than required, as the gems seem to only good for are to buy more spots in the Zen Garden.

Look how much these plants are! That's highway robbery, I tell ya!

Beyond that, there’s not much else to go too far into. The game’s environments and the plant and zombie designs in this game are just as colorful and quirky like the original. Each time period follows a certain theme in their look, and they all do a real good job following each of these themes, not abandoning any sort of ridiculous concept that could come out of the period. (Zombie in a bikini anybody?) The touchscreen controls overall didn’t give me any real issues as they worked just fine, but can still leave you open to make mistakes under intense gameplay that could cost you sun and precious time.

But to be honest, I still found Plants vs. Zombies 2 to be an honorable sequel to the original. It still delivers plenty of content to satisfy fans of the original with more levels, new abilities, and of course, more plants to use and zombies to fight. It just might’ve been a terrific sequel if somebody (probably EA) didn’t put their dead, greedy fingers all over it with unnecessary microtransactions and making the game much harder in some sections. Otherwise, it’s still a bit of fun given the concept, and I recommend this to anybody aching for something to play on their phones, or any PvZ fans that haven’t already picked up this game (i.e., like me). Just probably expect to give those corporate zombies a few bucks to get them off your back…or your brainz.

Final Verdict: 7/10

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ea.game.pvz2_na

Apple App Store: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/plants-vs.-zombies-2/id597986893?mt=8

Zombie Chicken. Need I say more?

New Phone and Review- The Room (Android)

About a few weeks ago, I decided to get a new phone. I did this because started to get really sick of my old phone and its lack of abilities with a poor excuse of a memory storage. It gave me almost no room to download the apps I needed for my daily life (Facebook, YouTube, etc.), and especially...NO GAMES.

So for about a year or so, I've had to use that crummy phone, while I continued to get the "Memory storage is getting full" message constantly, and games that I had wanted to play (E.g: PLANTS vs. ZOMBIES 2!!!) passed by with absolutely no way to play them at all. When the opportunity to get a new phone finally came to me, it was a godsend. I immediately took that chance, and I threw that old piece of dirt into the trash (not really, it's on the table next to the computer, but still trash nonetheless).

After that, I've had time to get used to my new phone, and so far, it's not too shabby. I have plenty of space for my apps and other things. Plus, I finally played Plants vs. Zombies 2 and got to as far as the game has already made.

But I'm not going to talk about that game...YET!

Instead, I'm going to have a look at a creepy puzzler called The Room, developed by Fireproof Games in 2012 for the iOS, and then eventually for Android and PC.

Not that Tommy Wiseau crap. This is actually good.

The Room brings you to a mysterious colleague's house after he sends you a letter requesting your help from a potential danger. When you go up into his room, all you can see is a safe that is locked up by cryptic puzzles. From there, the game focuses on getting into that safe to discover its ultimate contents.

The game is separated into three different chapters (plus an epilogue), each with their own puzzles to solve. How you solve these puzzles relies on moving the camera and certain objects or items you find in a certain way by sliding your fingers around the screen. It's a fine way to explore the box, but this kind of control can get a little finicky at times when it comes to using items or trying to focus on certain sections of puzzles.

Early on in the game, you get a special tool to help you- a special eyepiece that can let you see some things that you couldn't see without it. This becomes very essential for searching for secret compartments or finding important clues to solve a puzzle, especially near the end game. With that, the game is a wonderfully cryptic mess. Almost every puzzle, in order to solve it, you need to solve another puzzle, use the lens to find a secret compartment, or find an item to solve that original puzzle. It can become easy to get lost for some players. Luckily for them, the game does have a hint system to get things going when you have absolutely no idea what to do.

You also discover more clues (and the plot) by going through these puzzle boxes, via journal entries from your mysterious colleague A.S. They describe that he had discovered a mysterious new element known as Null- some type of otherworldly space dimension matter. These notes lead on to how his discovery eventually brings him to his fate at the start of the game. Putting it together, it's a simple and basic "Scientist discovers something amazing, then it turns on him in the end" storyline, but it does present its ties to the puzzles as some of the solutions come out from looking at this element via the special eyepiece, looking like something from another dimension (think a huge cube inside a small rectangular prism.). An item can even pop up right in front of your face out of nowhere after solving a puzzle from the lens, Then there are times you can hear some mysterious voices in the background. It's not at all scary, but if the developers really wanted to give you some mild creeps, then they succeeded.

The graphics are very excellent. There is plenty of detail on the boxes and puzzles, as well as the items you pick up and use during each chapter. However, they might be too much at times, as my phone did act up about once or twice, primarily when you look through a spyglass at something essential. Be mindful on what kind of graphical quality you have on your phone/tablet, as it can lead to issues like this. Mobile games can sometimes be a crap shoot, depending on what kind of content it contains, the quality the game has, or if your phone is old. This can mean that you might not even finish the game at all.

But from that problem aside, The Room still is a great game. For only .99, it's a great brain teaser, and something to pick up if you are ever in the mood for a good puzzle game.

Final Verdict: 8.5/10

Links:

iOS:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/the-room/id552039496?mt=8

Android:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.FireproofStudios.TheRoom

Edited by Dan Cordell

Really, REALLY Late (or "He's Not Quite Dead!")

Hi there.

So...I know I haven't posted anything in a while. No reviews. No crazy stories. Not even anything short and sweet. Nothing but dead silence for a few months.

As I mentioned in my first post back in February this blog was created to satisfy a Senior Project requirement at my high school, to learn how to be a critic (or just to critique in a more professional basis). At the time of completion and getting to graduation, I actually did have plans to continue posting on it- going beyond the due date. I had reviews planned and other ideas in the works.

However...that was not the case. Life and other things got in the way. I took a Summer job with the Forest Service so I could pay for a PS4 as well as a new TV in my room. Then after that, I had to get stuff put together, turned in, and prepared for my first year of College. And then even if I actually got around to writing something, I end up giving up after 30 minutes or so, not knowing how to start it, and go off to play a game or watch Netflix. Then comes the obvious laziness, and I would completely forget about it for days. However, through all that time, I still wanted to get back to the blog. 

Which brings me to what this post is about. I have not abandoned this blog, far from it. I have some reviews (even one coming out TODAY!!!) and other things planned. Hopefully if my writing doesn't block up on me, I can actually start cranking them out again. If I don't, and there's yet another silence for another couple months, it still doesn't mean I am abandoning it. (Unless my last post actually goes off and says: I am ending this, sorry to all. )

That time has not come.

I'm just really, really late.

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes Review (PS3)

Released: March 18, 2014

Rating: Mature (M17+)

The Metal Gear franchise, or when it comes to its evolved title- Metal Gear Solid- has become well known in the industry for its confusing, yet engaging stories, its line of characters, and for the creation of the stealth action genre. Believe me, I can go on for miles about each of these titles. And when it comes to the next installment of the franchise- The Phantom Pain- there are not enough words to express how much I want this damn game to come out NOW.

Turns out, I wasn’t the only one. Since the game still needed a lot of development, and because of the PS4’s imminent launch- Hideo Kojima, the creator/director of the franchise, decided to release the prologue of the Phantom Pain- otherwise known as Ground Zeroes, in order for fans to get a taste of what is to come for the long awaited sequel.

And while it may be just a small appetizer for a much bigger conflict in Phantom Pain, it does help soothe the not-so-Phantom Pain called waiting.

On one side of the box art, we have Snake giving us a really cold stare.

Ground Zeroes takes place approximately a year after the events of Peace Walker- 1975. It focuses on a solo operation led by Snake (otherwise known as Big Boss), to rescue two prisoners inside a US “blacksite” army base in Cuba. The targets: Paz Ortega Andrade- an enemy spy who may have information on an intelligence agency known as Cipher. And then Chico Libre- a young member of Snake’s army who had tried to rescue Paz himself but failed. Meanwhile, Kazuhira “Kaz”  Miller, Snake’s right hand man, tries to ready up their headquarters Mother Base for a nuclear inspection by the UN, while assisting you via radio.

It also introduces a new villain, a horribly burned and scarred man who goes by the identity of Skull Face, and leads his own military group- only known as XOF (free cookie to anyone who figures that out). They seem to appear as an invisible force, using tactics to erase evidence of themselves, such as using a special type of light to hide their name on vehicles, and throwing their squad patches out of a helicopter.

For those who have been with the franchise for quite some time, it is disappointing that this is the shortest MGS title in its history, with the main mission taking as long as a feature-length movie- 90 minutes, possibly shorter with multiple playthroughs. But either way, I enjoyed my time in the story mission, and I was thrilled to see Snake in action again in one way or another. Basically, GZ accomplishes what it needed to do: set the stage of revenge for when the story continues nine years later in Phantom Pain.

Also in contrast to the previous installments’ numerous lengthy cutscenes, there were only two big cinematics in GZ, both in the beginning and end of the mission, and each lasts about 10 minutes. These cinematics cut seamlessly to and from gameplay, and still captures the action all in a single take, all in-engine. They’re spectacular to look at, and the game overall looks great running on the new FOX Engine. It’s not as well-detailed in some areas as its next-gen counterpart, and I have noticed a couple graphical quirks, such as an enemy or object not showing up until getting closer or zooming in with binoculars, but this could be from the graphical capabilities of the PS3.

Gameplay still focuses on stealth, but expands upon elements from previous installments. Almost the whole base itself is free to explore, with various ways of accomplishing the mission, and makes excellent use of your equipment and abilities. Your binoculars (which I used more frequently in this than in the previous installments) give the chance to mark enemies and objectives to monitor as you sneak around the base.  You can also monitor these markers via the iDroid, a very handy device which gives you a detailed map of the base, as well as options to call in a helicopter for evacuation, and for listening to music and cassette tapes you can acquire throughout the game’s missions. And of course, the cassette tapes you pick up gives more backstory into the characters, including diaries from Chico about his time at the base, which I love in story-filled games like this. (plus, I always love the music in these titles too!) There is also an iPhone/Android (get the joke yet?) app to access more iDroid capabilities outside of the main game, but I wasn’t able to get that to work at all on my phone.

There are also some new gameplay additions, which I had some initial issues about, but surprisingly, they didn’t seem to hurt my overall experience once I started playing. The game brings a new “Reflex Mode”, which, once Snake’s been spotted, slows down the action to a point where you can try to take the enemy out before he can call out for reinforcements. This can be pretty useful for people not used to these kind of titles, but for those who would rather learn the hard way (i.e- me), it can be turned off in the options menu. GZ also introduces regenerating health, instead of the previous installments use of rations as health packs. This in particular bothered me the most as the game got closer to release day, because of this severe change from the previous games, but it became a change I gave a pass once I got ahold of the game. The reason is If you get hit in a critical place, you will need to escape from your pursuers, and use a First-Aid spray to heal that damage before all the rest can go away. It still gives Snake some mortality, and makes you have to rethink your tactics.

Driving is also introduced in GZ, as Snake can get behind the wheel of several vehicles within the base. But while they can get you around the base faster, or lug around enemies or recovered prisoners, it has its problems. The controls are basic, but it does take a while to get used to, due to the supposed realistic nature of the vehicles. But even with that, it’s also more susceptible to enemies if they can see you close up, or if you drive in a vehicle that’s too revealing.

Each of the six missions (Ground Zeroes, four ‘pseudo-historical’ side-ops, and a console exclusive mission) have a Normal difficulty, and an unlockable Hard difficulty for those wanting a challenge. This would reduce the amount of weapons you start with, and making it harder to avoid being seen by enemies. After completing the mission once, you can unlock special time trials and records for certain smaller goals (eg: going through a mission WITHOUT firing a weapon, farthest headshot, etc.) which are taken for online leaderboards, and access to weapons at the start of that mission. How you get these bonuses, is based upon an S-D ranking system, with stats that gives/takes away points based on completion time, times caught, as well as side-objectives and other stats. However, these last about a half-hour each, which could suck for some others, but I was fine with the content I was given. These missions were intent for replayability, and it hits this on the head hard, as I had some fun with replaying them for new strategies and for better times, ranks and scores.  I probably must’ve been playing for almost 15 hours overall just trying to learn avoiding being spotted for the umpteenth time.

The controls for the game hasn’t changed much since MGS4, which is a good thing, and I am glad they had decided to move restrained enemy actions to the buttons instead of being press sensitive to the R1 button back in MGS3. (that crap was really annoying) The enemy AI feels natural, as they will react realistically in alert situations, and will even group up with each other to search for you, although they do have their occasional flaw, especially in the daytime. They should be able to see me somewhat better in the daylight, even when I’m edging onto their “cone of vision”, in plain view, they don’t seem to notice me until I start to move again. The CQC (close-quarters combat) movements are simple to do, and pretty cool to look at, like snatching a gun off an enemy and holding him up with it, to merely slamming an enemy against a wall to knock him out. But even though they tell you how to do these in the game’s digital manual, I do wish there was something of an tutorial to show you how these moves could be done..

And on the flip side, we have a sketch of Snake looking like a major badass.

In despite of a few *cough cough* shortcomings , I still found plenty to enjoy within Ground Zeroes. The prologue itself still had some punch to give, and its replayability factor can be used to somewhat overcome the long wait to The Phantom Pain’s release in 201V, if only temporarily.

However, for those that are somewhat interested in the series should NOT start with this title. Despite the game having a backstory summarizing the events of MGS3 and Peace Walker in the main menu, I would highly suggest picking up the earlier main titles (in RELEASED order) to get a better feeling of what’s happening before eventually picking up The Phantom Pain.

Final Verdict- 8/10

Here is the E3 2013 trailer for the next part of the full Phantom Pain itself. The trailer is an amazing display of what the MGS series can really do, and the song that plays throughout the entire thing, is an incredible fit for what can be an really emotional finale to Big Boss' saga.

MGSV: Ground Zeroes Console Exclusive (Deja-vu/Jamais-vu) Side-Revu

Old vs. New

As I barely mentioned in my review of Ground Zeroes, the game itself overall had six missions: the main story mission, four other side-ops, and finally a console exclusive mission. With the console exclusive, the mission you got depended on the platform you got the game for. For the people who had bought the Playstation versions of the game, you would get Deja Vu- a mission dedicated to moments from the original Metal Gear Solid back in 1998. And the people who bought the Xbox version would get Jamais Vu- a mission dedicated to an earlier game that MGS creator Hideo Kojima had made back in the 90’s called Snatcher, a cyberpunk game involving body snatching aliens taking people’s places among society.

But as of May 1st, a patch has been released which now allows both the console exclusives to co-exist on each platform. So, I thought for some fun, I would give an overall opinions on these not-so-exclusive-anymore missions.

Deja Vu (Playstation exclusive):

When I first heard of this mission, I have to admit, I was really excited. I had played the original Metal Gear Solid about a couple years ago, and a mission to relive some nostalgia did sound like some fun to be had.

This mission is to go to seven specific locations around Camp Omega in order for Snake to recreate SCENES (yes, they say it in CAPITALS, so I’m doing it too) from the original game, with pictures that you can look at from your iDroid to locate them. You can end the mission once you’ve recreated just one SCENE, or you could get them all, and receive a bonus when it is completed. However, in order for the SCENE to count, you must not be in a combat mode, (basically, don’t get caught) otherwise, it won’t count.

The mission also recites lines from the actual game itself at certain points, either from Miller or Snake. These do give a feeling of nostalgia when going around and recreating these scenes, as well as listening to lines and finding cool little easter eggs based off the original game. (P.S: Whatever you do, don’t go near one of the porta-potties at the beginning) The side-objectives and records in this mission also reflect upon this, as there are MGS title tags hidden all around the base, as well as two spotlights that resemble a certain logo. And if you find a rifle with a specific light, and aim it at one of the MGS tags… that’s all I can say from there, but it is a 50/50 chance it’ll do something.

Of course however, I do have my problems with it. The mission does let us recreate scenes from the game, but are more like “Go to this place at a certain angle, or do this particular thing and you’ll get the scene”. There’s nothing particularly big, not the idea of reliving a single boss battle (even though they have throwing a grenade into a tank as one of the scenes). I feel like if they had redesigned the base to a certain degree like the original Shadow Moses, and maybe use it in a way like a short summary of the original game, it would’ve given the mission more of the nostalgic feel it wants to give.

BUT what we do get after recreating all the scenes is still cool too. After the credits roll, you are given a quiz (depending on difficulty) based off events from MGS, and if you answer them all right, you unlock one of the retro Snake skins from the original game. Get one wrong, it’s over, no continues. I really loved this concluding part, comedically shooting off more memorable lines, and it gives a real test on how much you really knew the game. (apparently, I need to play it again)

Overall, the Deja Vu mission delivers a flawed nostalgia trip back into the original Metal Gear Solid. Though it could just be me wanting more out of this mission than what I got out of it, but even with that, what was there was enough to satisfy.

Jamais Vu (Xbox exclusive):

For a mission concerning Raiden, the underappreciated second fiddle turned badass cyborg ninja of the Metal Gear series, and relating to a cult-classic title involving body snatching aliens, it’s almost a match made in odd heaven. A cyborg from a war-torn future- sent into “one of many universes” of 1975 to assassinate unknown entities known as “Snatchers” that have taken over Camp Omega and disguised themselves as most of the soldiers.

This mission is still focused on stealth, but it mostly relies on your binoculars to mark out the normal enemies from the suspiciously green extraterrestrials inside their bodies. (again, like in my review, more reason to use the binoculars than in previous installments) The job itself is to kill all the Snatchers you do spot, (you can’t knock them out) while trying not to kill the normal soldiers. In the end, it all goes into a final battle with the Snatchers as you try to eliminate them all before they destroy your helicopter for evacuation.

  

I did enjoy the more gunplay based aspect of this mission, especially towards the final showdown, and it’s really respectable to give Raiden some spotlight in this title, and make this mission his own, including taking music directly from Metal Gear Rising, (makes me want to buy it now, still haven’t played it sadly) as well as bringing some sound cues and music from Snatcher. Although it bums me out that they wouldn’t let you use Raiden’s sword from Rising within the mission. Plus, the mission still takes points away every time you get spotted, which really sucks, considering the fact it is damn easy to get spotted during the final shootout. If they had programmed a stopping point when the finale occurs, then that would’ve made sense.

However, despite enemy position changes and a different character, it looks as though they did not change that much between the two Vu missions. (MGS title tags in same locations,  the same starting point, and even the Kojima Productions logo spotlights, although they did change one of their locations) I mean, I can understand this since it could be because it was originally an exclusive for the Xbox version, but you would think they would mix it up a bit more than that. They could’ve swapped some elements (tags, for example) with some things that would relate to Snatcher, or even related to Metal Gear Rising for this mission. (they put the Platinum Games logo on the side of a helicopter at the mission opening cinematic)

Gripes aside, the Jamais Vu mission does bring a concept that is pretty badass in its own right, but really needed something of their own instead of reusing the same layout from the other mission.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the end, the one I enjoyed the most, was Deja Vu. Despite their somewhat misuse of the game’s famous moments, was still a pretty fair trip back to the original game, with enough easter eggs and and references to make your head turn. While Jamais Vu did what they could with Raiden and Snatcher, they really needed more than just easter eggs and a barely changed layout in order to impress. But that’s just my opinion on a seemingly pointless argument, as these missions are now available for everyone with an Xbox or Playstation. So whatever mission you prefer, who’s to stop you?  

Tape Time: The Teacher, The Buyer, and the Uglier (Part 2 of 2)

NOTE: This is the second part of a two part post. I chose this format because I didn't want these posts to be too big to read, so I split them up into two for better reading. Stupid, I know, but this is experimental, so changes can happen between now and the possible future.

This next tape is probably considered to be one of Eastwood’s finest roles… and after watching the movie myself, I can’t argue with that.

I don't think I need to say the title to this one.

This movie is fantastic, no doubt about it. This 1966 classic directed by Sergio Leone, takes place during the Civil War (making this the first of the Dollars Trilogy chronologically) and focuses on three people; Tuco- The Ugly (Eli Wallach), Angel Eyes- The Bad  (Lee Van Cleef), and The Man With No Name, otherwise nicknamed Blondie- The Good (Eastwood), as they all fight for a hidden Confederate treasure worth about $200,000 in gold. It’s a basic tale, yet the film’s characters make it very intricate.

You have two of the characters, Blondie and Tuco in a team in most of the film, but only because each character has half of the location of the gold. After the movie begins, Blondie backstabs Tuco after a deal between each other goes sour, and he leaves Tuco out in the dust. When Tuco eventually finds Blondie once again, he captures him, and sends him on a death march into through a desert, with intent to kill him. Before he can however, a wagon full of dead Confederate soldiers stops in their location, and only one soldier is still alive. This soldier tells Tuco about the gold, as well as its location- a cemetery, but demands water before he could give the exact grave to find it in. When he comes back, he notices Blondie next to the wagon, and the soldier dead. And when Tuco is just about to finally off Blondie, he holds over the fact that if he died, the name of the grave goes with him.

I just love this scene. It’s very pivotal for the story, not only because it just gets them involved, but shows off what makes these two great. With Tuco, who is a selfish bandit, it just shows he will do almost anything to stay on someone’s good side, if it all does something that will benefit himself, but will try what he can to take it all. Because of the fact Blondie knows the name of the grave, Tuco saves and helps Blondie, but only because what Blondie knows will make him rich, and can happily ditch (or kill) him once he has what he needs.

With Blondie, this scene makes him the holder of all the cards, not just with Tuco, but eventually with Angel Eyes later on. He knows enough to not trust Tuco all the way, but still enough to help him. He is the good character indeed, but can resort to doing some shady dealings (like with Tuco at the beginning of the film) in order to make a living, and even to protect his own skin. However, since this is a prequel to the other films, the character doesn’t have his full regalia in the beginning. He does start to gradually acquire his outfit sometime in the final half of the film, which all leads up to when he finally shows himself, badass poncho and all. It was very exciting to eventually see it all on him once more, and with a very cool reveal shot, a perfect fit for a badass character.

Angel Eyes on the other hand, is a man who doesn’t care what he has to do to insure he gets the gold. He resorts to vicious beating, torture, and even murder in order to get his way. At the beginning of the film, he is going around for information concerning a soldier who knows where the hidden gold is. (sound familiar?), Once he becomes aware of Blondie and Tuco while all are in a Union camp, he gets the location from Tuco, and eventually takes Blondie to help him find it, in exchange for half of the gold (although he probably would’ve killed Blondie in the end afterwards). Despite the fact he’s only in about 30 minutes in the film, Cleef plays this character exceptionally cool, although his villain could now be considered possibly cliche nowadays. (I mean, he wears all black for Pete’s sake)

The film was shot silently due to the director and some of the cast and crew’s lack of understanding English, so all the dialogue would have to be dubbed in afterwards. The dialogue  does sync up with the actors mouths at least 95% of the time, but sometimes the dialogue doesn’t seem to sync as well at times, but I barely noticed that issue throughout the entire movie. But outside of that, the rest of the film is well directed. It starts slow, but then it goes at a steady pace once things are set up. Which leads me to the inevitable final showdown with the three characters. Again, much like the climax in The LEGO Movie, it’s one of the most perfectly filmed scenes I’ve ever seen. The cinematography, the intense atmosphere, and the music, it all fits with this scene, you’re just waiting to see when they will draw their guns and shoot.

The 1993 copy I have is another “Roadshow” copy of tapes, separated into an hour and forty-two minute tape, and an hour and two minute tape, and both still run excellently without any issue. But depending on whatever media you have, whether it’s a VHS,  DVD or Blu-ray, I highly recommend checking out this film, as well as the earlier installments of the Dollars Trilogy. They each get better with each installment, and this is as good as it’s going to get.

Final Verdict: 9.5/10

Il sciupate (The Uglier):

And for the final tape of the day, the 1982 cult sci-fi hit directed by Ridley Scott- Blade Runner.

What..the..hell?

This sucker has a REALLY intense history, some can say even an ugly history.

The movie is based off a Philip K. Dick novel entitled Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, and focuses on Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), a man assigned to a special police force, known as “Blade Runners”. His job is to hunt down and “retire” human-like androids called Replicants, who return to Earth in order to find their creator. This film eventually became a bomb at the box office, and critics didn’t know what to think of it at the time of its release. Eventually, the movie’s reputation did rise, and now has become a cult classic as of today.

But here’s where things get really good: There were about FIVE different cuts of this film, (SEVEN if you count sneak previews or TV edits)  probably the most amount of versions of a motion picture to have ever been made. You have the regular film from 1982, the international cut (more violent), a “director’s” cut first shown at a film festival, and then to other theatres in 1990

(which was actually a workprint version), an ACTUAL director’s cut in 1992, and another director’s cut entitled The FINAL cut, in 2007.

The VHS tape I have is the 10th anniversary edition (1992), which contains the unrated international cut. It was released through New Line (Warner Bros.) and Columbia/Tristar Home Video. But again, here’s when things get weird.

Normal stuff here

First, I see New Line and Columbia/Tristar on the spine.

Getting weirder.

But inside the box, the tape says its from Nelson Entertainment.

Ok, now what's going on?

And when you put the tape in, it says it’s from Embassy Home Entertainment. What the hell kind of crap is this?

Apparently, Embassy, by the time of the film’s release in 1982, was owned by Jerry Perenchio (who presented this film with Bud Yorkin from the opening credits) and Norman Lear. This company had three separate departments dedicated to film, television and home video releases. Eventually, they were sold in 1985 to the Coca-Cola company, who also had control of Columbia Pictures at the time. They gave the theatrical department to the De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, and renamed their home video department Nelson Entertainment. Then in 1991, Nelson was sold off to New Line, which renamed it to New Line Home Video. Later, they would team up with Columbia/Tristar, which became independent from Coca-Cola, and became apart of Sony, would start to distribute New Line’s home video library, all until 1995 when Ted Turner would pick them up, and then their movies would be distributed from Turner Home Entertainment.

And thus... the weird distribution of THIS tape.

The tape itself runs fine, and it sounds fine. But out of the first few minutes I saw, the movie looked grainy, though could be because the film was shot like that, or the tape wasn’t made correctly. And do I have to mention the box? It just looks UGLY. It’s a horrible looking box, plain and simple. Why couldn’t they have just have the movie poster or something really cool on the box instead? The new releases of this film have better boxes than this, and they even have all the cuts.

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And from that, our maiden voyage is over. I do hope you enjoy reading about these tape collection diaries. Please understand that the format is still experimental, so any comments about it is just fine. And if anyone likes it, I will make more of these Tape Times EXCLUSIVELY on Always Delayed, along with the regular content.  

Tape Time: The Teacher, The Buyer, and the Uglier (Part 1 of 2)

NOTE: This is the first part of a two part post. I chose this format because I didn't want these posts to be too big to read, so I split them up into two for better reading. Stupid, I know, but this is experimental, so changes can happen between now and the possible future.

With all the latest focuses on Blu-rays, DVDs, and a new digital frontier, people seem to forget about all those boxes of old videocassettes hiding in their basement, attic, or their garage. But even when they do notice, they either just sell them off in a garage sale, give them up to a thrift store, or leave them there to rot in a dusty, eternal grave, while they reboot their collections with a new form of media, with new innovations and technology, and add upon that with latest releases, of more CG heavy films, and almost little other substance. My brother himself has an OBSESSION with Blu-rays, with at least over 50 titles, old and new, and wouldn’t even bother getting the DVD version if the Blu-ray copy wasn’t there.

I on the other hand, have started to recollect these old videotapes about almost a year ago (along with the occasional Blu-ray or DVD), and have since started up a collection, getting tapes from thrift stores or garage sales that would seem interesting to look at. Because of this, I’ve actually got introduced to plenty of marvelous films like The Godfather, and started following other actors like Clint Eastwood, only because I enjoyed a 1984 copy of For a Few Dollars More.

And so, I decided to start up a collection diary called “Tape Time”, showing off the latest VHS catches, and a first impression (sometimes a review.) on each of them. Of course, I do try to watch as much of the videotapes I get, so they don’t end up all abandoned and unwatched.

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L'insegnante (The Teacher):

If you have been following this blog since it began, you would know that this blog started from a Senior project requirement that I needed to pass for my last year at high school. And someone who has been following me on this path was my English teacher, who also was my advisor for this project, and a close friend of mine. She knew I was collecting tapes, and had noticed my posts on Facebook (where this actually all started) from recent catches.

So, a couple of days ago, (from the time this blog was released) I see my English teacher walk to her door with her husband (also a teacher/close friend at my school), and she starts to take something out of her bag when I get there to greet her. What she takes out are a couple of tapes (still in shrink wrap btw) that she had found in their house, and had decided to let me have them.

The first tape I received from her was a 1991 copy of a 1959 western called Rio Bravo, directed by Howard Hawks, and starring Dean Martin, Ricky Nelson, and the king of westerns, John Wayne.

I’m not typically a western watcher, but I have been open about it since I saw the two of the Dollars Trilogy films with Eastwood, but I have never seen a John Wayne film, so I don’t have much to say about it. But there’s a first for everything, and from what I researched of this movie, and the director, it’s an interesting title. The tape itself ran great as new tapes should, (of course the shrink wrap HAD to come off.) with NO issues, although it does seem to have some color distortion from what I saw the first few minutes I watched, which could be excusable for a really old film like this.

The second is one of those what I like to call “Roadshow” tapes. This was originally something movies that lasted over 2 and a half hours would do back in the 50’s and 60’s, where people could stretch their legs, and get a refreshment or two before the movie would restart about 10-15 minutes later. With some movies on videotape that last to almost three hours long, sometimes, they will cut the movie up into two tapes. The first part, when comparing both parts of the film, would be considerably longer than the last half, considering the time you would take to grab a meal or whatever before putting on the rest of the tape as intermission.

One of the latest “roadshow” tapes I now have, is a 1991 copy of the classic 1965 adaptation of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s The Sound of Music, directed by Robert Wise and starring Julie Andrews.

Only Julie's looking outwards. Everyone else is looking at the title.

I’ve heard about this musical numerous times from either clips of the film, or by word of mouth, Even during my Sophomore year, my school actually did this musical. (sad confession incoming, grab pitchforks and torches) Sadly, I never bothered with it, as I’m not typically a fan of musicals. I’ll watch one here and there, but I’ve never been really interested in the genre overall. I’ve seen this movie in a thrift store a couple of times, but I never really was interested with it.

At some point in the beginning of the summer, I do intend to take a look at it. The tape runs great, just like Rio Bravo (again, new) but without the color distortion. Although I wish they would just stick to a screen size in the first few minutes of the film. It goes from full screen, to widescreen for the credits, and then full screen again. It’s kind of annoying, and I know it’s probably for the beginning of the film, but still, it’s like a kid who can’t decide on two different things he/she wants. Full screen. Widescreen. Full scre- you get the idea.

No, I'm serious. That's how big it is.

L'acquirente (The Buyer):

Now we get to the tapes I bought regularly. The next two are from two different decades, from two different genres, but each have the same man starring- Clint Eastwood. As I mentioned earlier, ever since For a Few Dollars More, I’ve since started collecting movies related to Eastwood, whether starring, directing, or both.

Unfortunately, he did not direct any of these films, (which apparently is good if True Crime is something to fear about. God, that was awful) but he has received critical acclaim on both these next titles. And I found time to watch one of them before writing this, and I can highly agree.

But before we get to it, the first I want to talk about is a 1993 movie (copy is from 1998) called In the Line of Fire.

What the hell you looking at?

It was directed by Wolfgang Petersen, who directed the German film Das Boot, from what my brother told me, a good film, and Air Force One, which wasn’t as good as I thought it was going to be when I saw it.

From what I’ve read up, the plot is fascinating enough. It’s about a terrorist planning to assassinate the president, and a Secret Service agent (Eastwood) trying to stop it, as well as to redeem himself after failing to save a well-known president from being assassinated in the past. That doesn’t help when the terrorist is also trying to target him too, and even go as far as harass him about his failure. But even with all that, I’m still on the fence with this director after my disappointment over Air Force One. But I will give Petersen one more chance. Or I could just go watch Das Boot.

The tape still runs well, but I think the color is a little degraded, but probably because the people who made the tape didn’t seem to do a good job mastering the color. It just seems so grayish under the few minutes I saw it for, but otherwise, everything else is fine.

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Check out the second part of this post for the ugliest tape I've ever gotten, and even a review!!